(If you have no idea what this is all about, please read Part 1 first)
(& fully-upgraded) territory
He surveyed his vast territory from the common corridor of his HDB flat, watching families going about their Chinese New Year visits, and young couples strolling along with their Valentine’s Day bouquets in hand.
The years had been good to him, as the Ah Beng rose and rose through the ranks of his secret society to become the dreaded right-hand man of his Triad Chief, having applied the mathematical skills he had picked up to impress with his lightning speed of calculating exorbitant compound interests for the entire loan shark network, and his ability to deduce (using mensuration formulae) with frightening accuracy the exact volume of paint needed to be splashed on each victim’s door to avoid accidental damage to neighbouring property.
But despite his stellar career in a finance industry that would’ve made some L1R5 ≤ 6 pts students green with envy, there remained a sense of emptiness that gnawed at his heart …
AIYOOOOOOOO!!!!!
A pesky voice jolted him from his reverie.
You are still single?????! When are you going to find a husband?!
Sufficiently intrigued, he walked to the HDB unit where the commotion came from, and peered through the window panes, just like the old days.
Better quickly find a boyfriend while you are still pretty! Your cousin Ling Ling’s already pregnant with her second child!
In a typical Hong Kong drama scene when the 插曲 (i.e. secondary track) usually starts playing, the Ah Beng‘s heart skipped a beat when he found himself staring at a woman seated in the room – the sole reason for his feeling of emptiness all these years. And though she was beginning to look a bit rough on the edges, she was still as stunning to him as when he first set eyes on her many years ago (thanks to the facial products she has been using).
So when are you planning to get married? Don’t you think you’re too old for ang bao???
As she started to look helplessly distressed in the face of her relatives’ relentless interrogation, he sensed that it was now or never. And so in a classic 不管三七二十一 (don’t-care-3-7-21) moment, he barged into the room to yell in perfect Hokkien
I AM HER BOYFRIEND!
After a prolonged period of awkward silence, one of the aunties recovered from the shock and muttered
Aiyoh got boyfriend already don’t be shy to tell us lah! By the way, what’s your name and occupation Handsome?
Recognizing that “Triad Chief’s right-hand man” won’t be an appropriate answer on this occasion, the Ah Beng smiled and confidently replied with the first occuption that crossed his mind
Everyone calls me ‘Smiling 哥’. I am a Maths Tutor.
Oooh you’re a Maths tutor too just like my Loi Loi? Such a match made in Heaven!
By the way if you don’t mind, I have a maths question that has been troubling me all night. Should be chicken feed to a maths expert like you!
At the Chinatown market last night, a stall keeper sold me two jars of pineapple tarts at the same price. He claimed that, while he made a profit of 20% on one of them, he also made a loss of 20% on the other – hence he “didn’t make any money from me”.
In order to find out once and for all if he was telling the truth, can you help me calculate the overall percentage gain/loss on selling the two jars of pineapple tarts?
Given that the Ah Beng‘s maths has become rusty ever since he delegated most of his calculation tasks to his runners after he became the right-hand man (see, maths is all about constant practice!), can you please do a good deed on this Chinese New Year/Valentine’s Day to help him get out of this fix???
P.S. ‘Smiling 哥’ actually turned desperately to look at the real maths tutor for help, but all he got was a fierce glance from an angry Loi Loi, since afterall, she had no idea who he was.
