It was a warm sunny day when Miss Loi made a special journey to a special place.
A place of peace and tranquility.
The very things she sought as she made the arduous climb of 268 steps (that’s 
× 100% ≈ 600% NOT 700% more steps than those at The Temple)
To place her tiny, humble self before The One, where she would put her palms together, and bow her head in a silent prayer to ask for blessings to 保佑 her O Level 2009 batch of students, whose scripts are being marked in some faraway land.
Suddenly, a deep, booming voice startled Miss Loi from her self-imposed trance.
*translated from Cantonese*
You must be the Maths Healer from Singapore!
Shocked, Miss Loi turned her head frantically and looked around, as she wasn’t aware of any show planned for the tourists at this time.
You! Yes you! Don’t look away!
A stunned Miss Loi looked up to face the Big Buddha.
I have seen your website, and I know who you are. I thank you for helping to ease the great pressure my foot has to bear each year when the O Levels come. So many have hugged it this year that I have to quickly retract it after the exams to nurse my cramps.
“Umm … you’re welcome …” was all Miss Loi could mutter.
But your work is not finished. There is still much mathematical suffering in this world. Many still can’t expand nor factorize algebraic expressions. Many still can’t sketch quadratic curves properly. And many remain clueless about Differentiation & Integration.
Yet they spend too much time on Facebook in this school holiday. And I caught you, of all people, shopping like a mad woman at Tsim Sha Tsui!
The Big Buddha’s face turned a little stern.
Now go, my Maths Healer! Leave this mountain and return to where your people needs you!
Abandon the Temple Street shopping trip you planned for tonight, for the prices there are not as low as they used to be!
Go now before I use my Buddha Palm aka 如来神掌 (第九式万佛朝宗!!!) to send you back myself!
And so Miss Loi promptly cancelled her leisurely 吃喝玩乐 activities and lugged herself (and her bloated tummy filled with all the sinful food from Yung Kee, Chee Kee, this Kee, that Kee etc.) to board the next cable car down the mountain …
… and back, by divine decree, to The Temple to begin the second half of her
2009 December Holiday Mathematics Jφss Sticks Sessions
(daily from now till 16 December)
These holiday classes are catered to all Sec 1-5 mathematics students who wish to use the holidays to:
- go through the basics, strengthen your foundation, and catch up on concepts that have been neglected during the semesters.
- gain a ‘headstart’ to
pwn your classmatesprepare & gain the confidence to learn at a comfortable pace in your new school term next year, when teachers may cover topics at breakneck speeds (esp. for O-Level students). - experience life-changing moments of being able to solve math problems on your own, those that you’ve never ever thought you could.
- break out from your vicious cycle of poor math grades and, hopefully, kindle your romance with the subject.
- *DIE DIE ensure that you pass that re-test to avoid being retained or be forced to drop the subject (*subject to individual cases & available time).
- Umm … see Miss Loi’s pretty face before she disappears again.
Venue: Miss Loi’s Temple
Class Size: Exclusive to 6-8 students/class
Duration/Session: 2 hours
Includes:
- Miss Loi’s maximum tender loving care
- Miss Loi’s fabled Exam Papers, notes + questions from Ten-Year Series, textbooks & schools’ prelims/exams/tests to cater to all levels and requirements
- Drinks and light snacks
So contact Miss Loi now to confirm your early salvation! (before she suddenly disappears from civilisation again 😛 )
Just realize this sounds like some TV Media commercial 😕 *ewww*
