He looked every bit like that boyish protagonist straight out of your favourite manga.
You barely knew him, but yet his presence had always induced a spell of calm, and made your forget all your troubles and worries of whether there was any stock left of that dress at the sale later.
And when THE moment finally arrived, you dropped all pretense of playing HTG and gazed into his tiny Rain-ish eyes, and your tender fluttering heart skipped a beat when he reached out and held your hand for the very first time, as every single inch of you cried out silently with a resounding “He is THE ONE!” …
.
.
.
[3 months later] …
Some of 世界上的男人(and 女人)没一个是好东西
In 2008, a specialized counselling centre for interpersonal violence in Singapore, the Centre for Promoting Alternatives to Violence (PAVe), cited dating violence as a new trend of abuse. Dating violence happens when a partner uses force or pressure to abuse the other partner sexually, physically or psychologically in a dating relationship.
A 2003 survey conducted by the PAVe showed that 15-30% of secondary and JC students has had experience of family violence and/or dating violence, and that more than one in five university students had physically assaulted a dating partner over a year. In a separate survey, >50% of Miss Loi’s students were found to have mentally abused her at least once during their joss sticks sessions.
As expected, abuse in relationships usually goes unreported and many suffer in silence because they are inexperienced in romantic relationships and lack guidance. The frequency and the severity of the abuse usually increase as the relationship continues.
Anyone Can Be A Victim
Though Miss Loi understands that it will not be easy, but if the signs above look disturbingly familiar to you, it’s imperative that you seek help as soon as you recognize that you might be in an abusive relationship.
To this end, social workers from the PAVe and a group of NTU undergraduates from the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information (WKWSCI) has initiated the Dating Violence Awareness Week – the first-ever nationwide campaign targeted at young Singaporeans to highlight different aspects of dating violence and to inform victims where and how they can seek help.
From 7-14 Feb 2009, this week-long campaign will involve social workers and students visiting tertiary institutions and the Girls’ and Boys’ Homes to give talks, set up booths and raise awareness on dating violence.
Here’s all the relevant info:
Centre for Promoting Alternatives to Violence (PAVe)
Address: Blk 211 Ang Mo Kio Ave 3 #01-1446 Singapore 560211
Tel: 6555 0390
Fax: 6552 5290
Email: admin@pavecentre.org.sg
Website: http://pavecentre.org.sg
Dating Violence Awareness Week
Contact Email: chooselovenotabuse@gmail.com
* In addition, do tune in to Power 98 and Jia88.3FM during the week (Mon to Fri) 8pm to 12mn and learn more about Dating Violence. Listeners can call in to give their views on the topic and social workers will also share real-life cases of victims who have overcome the odds.
Alright, now you girls should know who to call in the *unlikely* event that your Rain-lookalike boyfriend turns out to be quite something else. In a such case, nothing can be worse than your silence (whether it’s for blind hope or pride) and the last thing you’d want is to end up like one of those demure battered wives/girlfriends in Hong Kong TVB Dramas.
P.S. Thanks so much to Ms Carmen Lee for the invite to the DVAW launch on 7 Feb, which Miss Loi unfortunately couldn’t attend as it fell right in the middle of her work week. Hope this blog post (albeit a little late) will make up for her absence 😉
