BREAKING NEWS: A fire broke out at Novena this afternoon.
A sexy maths tutor was on her way to lunch in Novena when she came across this scene reminiscent of the ODEX street protest:
+ 3 x police cars + 1 x SCDF hatchback
Upon a closer look, the maths tutor was dismayed to find smoke bellowing from a coffeeshop (which incidentally was one of her frequent meal points). A poor old uncle from the neighbouring stationery shop was sufficiently alarmed that he valiantly tried to put out the fire himself using a puny green hose:
that his puny green hose simply isn’t gonna work.
By that time, the STOMP Brigade had arrived and taken up position:
mobile phones, cameras and
a professionally kaypoh mindset
As if on cue, several fumbling firmen (presumably interns) decided to entertain the crowd with their unique ‘watermanship’:
I paid yesterday for your lunch!
After the short performance that elicited muted cheers from the crowd, all eyes were now transfixed on the main event. It was that moment the maths tutor reported seeing a terrifying figure straight out of a scene from a Korean horror flick:
Soon enough, the fire at the ground floor was put out by these heroic men. However, there was still something burning within a chimney (originating from a cooking hood in the kitchen) that may cause the fire to spread to the upper floors (that contains a childcare centre).
So the good firemen decided to treat everyone to a bonus high-risk display of hoisting two of their comrades high up in the air to extinguish whatever sinister object (probably the evil-looking figure earlier) that lie hidden within the chimney, much to the joy of the excited crowd snapping away below.
That proved to be the climax to this year’s Children’s Day performance. As the crowd started to disperse and the more forward-thinking ones amongst STOMP brigade began swapping in new memory cards, the maths tutor decided to hang around to find out more on what actually happened.
Her perseverance was rewarded and she’s proud to report this highly-accurate fourth-hand account obtained from eavesdropping on some aunties and uncles in the vicinity:
oil overspilled → fire started →
cook panicked → cook poured water →
fire out of control → cook runs out →
forgot to switch off electricity →
fire got ‘sucked’ into chimney →
STUPID COOK! …
You get the picture. But most importantly we are happy to confirm that there had been no casualties (apart from one particular maths tutor missing her lunch) from this afternoon’s incident.
Though some unfortunate children from the childcare centre upstairs did end up with permanently scarred faces …
Many thanks for tuning in and to our sexy maths tutor for bringing us this special report from the scene.
