The seats around the old Starbucks were mostly empty.
The arcade machines was strangely quiet.
Even the Gong Cha stall near The Temple was unusually bereft of the lines of chattering students waiting for their “30 percent sugar level” drinks.
General Loi Mdm! All is quiet on the front! No mugging activities spotted!
Sergeant Loi‘s brusque KPKB voice broke the deafening silence.
No. There are out there, still mugging away. Just that you can’t see them now.
Putting away her binoculars, Miss Loi continued with a resigned tone …
Our Enemies – the kiasu croaking troops of the A1 Mugger Toad Division and the mechanized cyborgs of the Foreign Study Legion should be at their final phase of preparations by now.
Having gone through the TYS and every single prelim paper and assessment book available on this planet for the nth time, they are entrenched deep within their bunkers – revising their meticulously-prepared notes away from all prying eyes.
Turning to Sergeant Loi, she asked
How are preparations going along at The Temple, Sergeant Loi?
Have our students been brainwashed conditioned to aim for FULL MARKS in each and every one of our mock tests, as the presence of the Mugger Toad Division & the Foreign Cyborg Legion these days has deteriorated created the situation to the point that one must score 90% for an A1 (taking into account buffers for careless mistakes, significant figure errors etc.)?
Mdm! Yes Mdm!
Is any goondu who’s running out of time still practicing their demoralizing school prelim papers?
No Mdm! Under my charge, there are NOgoondus at The Temple! *smirky smile*
Are our students timing themselves to complete a full paper in 1-1.5 hours? And afterwards scan through again to look for careless mistakes? Followed by corrections for ALL questions which they got wrong, to make sure they identify and learn from their mistakes?
YES MDM!
Have they gone through all their personally highlighted questions (those which had often brought them grief in the past), and practice till the working steps are second-nature to them?
Yes Mdm!
Is any student still taking half an hour to do one question, because he/she is either looking at the tutor’s pretty face for help, SMSing on his/her iPhone for help, asking in Facebook for help, and complaining “WHY GOT NO ANSWER?!” when no help is forthcoming?
No Mdm! The last student who did that has got his iPhone taped to his ear with the iPhone alarm sound blasted continuously at full volume till the battery ran out!
Y U No Give Formula!
Is any student still assuming that all relevant math formulas will be given within the question or in the formula sheet?
No Mdm! All students have got the formulas conceptually embedded in their minds (including those found in the official formula sheet) so that they can do their sums faster in the exam! In fact, some can be heard screaming them out loud while they sleep at night!
Have our students been practicing on their construction/graph sketching questions (ESPECIALLY those who don’t like to draw and tend to skip them during revision)?
Yes Mdm! Those who didn’t like to draw now LOVE to draw! after I’ve forced them to draw for me 100 copies of graph paper (to the smallest square)
No Mdm! I’ve drilled into them that Plane Geometry is likely to be easier in the ‘O’ Levels compared to their prelims! Simply by practicing more on Similarity & Congruency may garner them a few marks, even if their 阴阳眼 happen to be weak on that day!
After such long periods of practice, are there many who are suffering from PRACTICITIS i.e. being tricked by familiar-looking questions similar to “standard” ones which they have practiced countless times when in fact they are actually asking for something else? E.g. The nasty polygonic parasite is 2010 EMaths Paper 2 🙁
Not many Mdm! All PRACTICITIS sufferers have been quarantined at the medical centre where our resident Yoga Master is on hand to help them relax, read the questions properly and focusfocusfocus …
Yes Mdm! And some of them agree that you are indeed cheong hei! *oops*
Last but not least, have they all ‘Liked’ our Jφss Sticks Facebook Page, where O Level questions and tips are currently being air-dropped to all frontline troops?
MDM YES MDM!!! I will personally tie up those who didn’t to a tree and tickle their feet till they do!
True that.. but that is cos i spend most of my time in the procrastination union and slacker club. They get free membership at the LMBFHS centre and are forcibly recruited at the mugger toad barracks. But i do plan to be more consistent in future, given the GPA system where every test counts. o.o
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About Miss Loi
Miss Loi is a full-time private tutor in Singapore specializing in O-Level Maths tuition. Her life’s calling is to eradicate the terrifying LMBFH Syndrome off the face of this planet. For over years she has been a savior to countless students … [read more]
Gratitudes
Exciting. Enjoyable. Enriching. These are probably three words I would use to describe Miss Loi’s lessons. Her methods of teaching are concise as well as organized, following the O’ Level syllabus very closely … [read more]
General Loi Mdm! All is quiet on the front! No mugging activities spotted!
2 Comments
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D= wow mathematics prisoner of war training?
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True that.. but that is cos i spend most of my time in the procrastination union and slacker club. They get free membership at the LMBFHS centre and are forcibly recruited at the mugger toad barracks. But i do plan to be more consistent in future, given the GPA system where every test counts. o.o